Damn you, squirrel!

Gardens, at the best of times have many insect pests. But, when the squirrels decide that your watermelons are fair game, it is on like Donkey Kong! I came outside one sunny morning to let the chickens out and check on the garden. I stumbled across a barely eaten, not even ripe yet, baby watermelon. A quiet rage built inside of me.

This punk ass squirrel had not only been stealing my bird seed which had me looking at very expensive anti-anything bigger than a song bird feeders, was now raiding my garden. If I was already in possession of a BB gun, those little suckers wouldn't stand a chance. In fact, I still plan on getting one. I am so not a trap and release kind of gal when it comes to squirrels. Where is a damn hawk when you need one?!

Every time I see him outside, I run after his ass and chase him up a tree. My kids do the same. He still isn't terrified and my neighbors are calling the white coats to come and get me. He did make the mistake of taking something from my chickens and those bitches got nasty with him. Maybe I should let them wander around the garden, like security does at a concert. See how he likes it when they get his tail in their beaks.

I understand that animals have to eat and are going to take the easiest thing they can lay their hands on. But, I worked hard on that garden and I am going to defend it like it's the Alamo. My family doesn't make much money and I plan on storing a lot of that food for winter. Better get into that squirrel protection program, you thieving bastards!