When Mommy Gets Sick

Over this past week and a half, I have been taking care of sick kids. My oldest had a high fever, my second oldest was vomiting. They got better in a day. Then, I caught it.

When I get sick, it goes to my sinuses and my chest, always. I also caught the fever that had plagued my boys. The first day, I was alright, just a little stuffy. I thought it would be over the next day. Ha, was I wrong. I woke up and I could barely get up. I moved to the couch after feeding the kids breakfast. I think I may have dozed a few times. I actually had to have my oldest bring lunch fixings into the living room so I could make lunch from the couch. I felt so pathetic as a mom.

So, my husband comes home from work and I fall asleep. He takes care of dinner and the kids, putting them to bed. I am a ball under a blanket on the couch. My eyes begin to burn which is a sure sign that I have a fever. The kids all kissed me goodnight and went to bed. I informed my husband that I needed him to stay home the next day because I felt so awful. I never ask him to take a day off, unless it is absolutely needed, such as a doctor appointment. At first he was reluctant because he had so much to do but as I progressed in being more pathetic, he realized that I needed him.

That night, I had the worst time getting to sleep. My fever was aggravating me, giving me chills and then sweats. I couldn't breathe through my nose. I flipped and flopped all night until about 5 AM, where I fell into a coma. I got up with him and the kids and again, camped out on the couch. I fell asleep until 2 PM. Thankfully, my husband was there to herd the kids through the day.

Today, I am doing better. I could actually function and do the things I needed to do as a mom. However, my energy gets sapped quickly so I cannot do all that I need to around the house. And as helpful as my husband is during times like this, there are always things missed.

The biggest thing that I need to remember when I get sick, is that I have to allow myself time to heal. If I don't, I suffer and so do my kids.  I cannot expect my body to bounce back like theirs do(even though I am insanely jealous). I will do the things that matter, and that will have to be good enough.

Do you allow yourself time to heal? Or do you act like me, the second you get a little energy, you try to do it all?

When Home Is So Far Away

A couple days ago, my mom informed me that she had an incident with my grandfather. My dad, on his way to pick her up from work, noticed that the police were at the house. On the way back, my mom stopped in to see what was wrong and an officer decided to berate my  mother about elder abuse. Luckily, my mother has a backbone and informed the officer that my grandfather repeatedly threatens her and my dad doesn't allow her to go over to my grandfather's house. The officer apologized but then upset my mother further by saying that he didn't think my grandfather wouldn't be around much longer anyway. They couldn't get my grandfather's attention for a long time. I think he may have had a small stroke. He wasn't taken to the hospital. He probably refused to go.

That same night, we got a phone call that my husband's grandmother had had a heart attack, albeit a small one. He was and is still very upset. Five months after we moved to Florida, his grandfather died. It had been one of his greatest fears when we left, that his grandfather would die. Now, again, he is in Florida, worrying that the same thing is about to happen. So far, she is doing well as can be expected.

The crux of the situation is that we are a two days drive from our family. If we push ourselves, we could be there in 24 hours. We feel a tremendous amount of guilt that we are not there to support our parents. They are getting older and having health issues of their own. My mother has crippling arthritis that may put her in a wheelchair if she doesn't have knee surgery. My dad has his own health issues. I can't expect him to take care of her all the time. My brother is still in college and has no way to get home every day. We are doing our best to get home, looking for teaching jobs in our home state. I told my husband I would sell everything just to get back home.

Do you live far from older relatives? Do you experience guilt over not being within driving distance?